Saturday, September 13, 2008


In Defiance
31 cm x 38 cm
acrylic on canvas

What happens when your exhibit fails and you’re reduced to a pile of unpaid bills higher than your 5’11” frame?

What happens when someone who harangued you to be a good person to be with couldn’t even get his own life in order and sucks you into thinking “he’s worth it”?

What happens when you literally carry a 50-lb artwork on your back across 5 cities, endure grueling traffic and a large woman carrying an overly flatulent baby on her lap in a bus that looks more like a coffin on wheels; and arrive at your destination to be greeted with, “Oh… didn’t you get my text? I won’t be getting your piece. Something came up. Sorry.”?

What happens when you find yourself between starvation and insanity, with only enough money for one jeepney fare to go to your brother’s or best friend’s house to grab some free meal and hopefully, they’ll lend you some dough to last a couple of days until you’re able to sell some piece?

What happens if everything else fails, bogs down, slows down to a halt that you’re left staring at the ceiling, or outside by your window, or into the toilet bowl while taking your morning dump, or into a refrigerator with only four bottles of freezing water while you’re burning with fever for the past 2 days and the medicine you took only lasted for half a day?

ANSWER: Paint your heart out and be defiant!


I owe Mariano a drink for pestering him with annoying text messages; Sheila for being such a healing friend, mother and confidante; Utol for simply being there and Vicky for the Jampong soup (or whatever it is called).


marga rodriguez said...

I'm in a similar situation. I'm up to my throuat with credit card bills and insurance premiums that i should have paid before when i still had much money. i think all artists must go through this "gutom stage". It is our true litmus test; And a challenge para gumaling ka pa lalo. I wish i could safely say you'll eventually ride it through, but it's hard when there's still no light at the end of the tunnel. i try to hold on the thought that there are other mysterious forces bigger than me, that knows of my plight and will eventually provide :)

Anonymous said...

... you know what I am doing right now? watching re-runs of old Twilight Zone episodes and preparing to sell my drawings at cubao expo next weekend. Wanna join? I got a booth there. :-)

We could bring a dog, make him wear dark sunglasses, I'll play the guitar and you can belly dance. that'll be a good gig. waddyatink?

YT said...

Tol, touch naman ako sa post mo. Anytime you want to invade my frige, you know where to go. Magaling ka na ba? Tomorrow morning let's go to ghills. This chilean client wants to see your work so if you've time bring your works to my place then let's see what happens after I restore her antique chest.

Anonymous said...

sorry i was not able to drop, i was neck deep with deadline.. i hope your ok na, promise dalaw ako soon. meantime hang in there, you've always come out of whatever shackles, all the time and triumphant (pa nga).. patience is a virtue honey, you said so yourself, He's always there to keep watch not to mention the 3 ladies hovering in the nooks and cranies of your studio (probably lamenting as well or who knows - doing a three some)


Anonymous said...

it's one lady, one child and one old man. the trio have been strangely quiet these past few days. maybe they knew am in no mood to give them a hoot.

Señor Enrique said...

Just hang in there and don't you cut off an ear ... hehehe.

Maybe I'll win the lotto and become your largest collector.

shy said...

hey, you know where to go if you need a free meal. just hop on a ride to my office, and hitch a ride with me to have dinner at my house anytime. :)

in the meantime, hang in there. these are your hungry years, and years from now, you will look back and smile reminiscing these times, and feeling thankful for surviving. you'll find that these were the times that molded you into becoming a better person, and a better artist. cliched as it may sound, but definitely true.

you're a talented artist, and the world is already beginning to recognize your talent. so just stay SANE! ;->

Anonymous said...

@ senor enrique: goodness, i was actually looking at my ear in the mirror this morning and the thought did cross my mind. congrats with you bloggie award.

Anonymous said...

@ shy: is your fridge fully stocked? :-)

ahh, sanity. yes. i still know it's meaning.

Anonymous said...

I hope you are feeling better now. :)

You know, I've been telling my daughter about you, your art and this blog. Well, she now visits this blog from time to time. And I think she has come to really admire your art and like me, has become a fan of yours. :) Problem however is - she's been pestering me lately to ask you if she can interview you for a project to be presented in her Humanities class.

My daughter is a sophomore student in International Hospitality Management.

Here's the website of her school:

Please, Mr. Daniel... could you grant her an interview, please, please?

Thank you so much. :)

Anonymous said...

i feel a lot better now. the best antidote to screwy episodes like these is to work.

interview me? what can i say that possibly interest your daughter. anyway, she can send me an email privately.