Wednesday, September 23, 2009

AN OILY DISASTER

Fish for Lunch
pen and ink on paper
9.5" x 13"


“Why are you walking funny?” Karen asked me when I walked into the dental clinic that morning. “Is something wrong?”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” I said as I slowly maneuvered myself on to the clinic’s dark brown faux-leather covered 30-year old box sofa, careful not to press together on the seat both my ass cheeks.

“Nothing?? Then why are you sitting in such a funny way?” she asked in a shrill tone that would definitely mean her schedule would be full for the day with patients waiting for a tooth to be pulled or have root canals. Things that dentists get excited with that makes me, an ordinary mortal, would find hard to fathom. “And are you wearing what I think you are wearing??”

“Yup,” I answered in a defeated manner for I cannot hide the obvious. “Adult diapers,” I added.

“Whyyyyyy??” utterly bemused, she asked.

“I’m leaking,” I said.

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“Suki… bili ka na (you buy here),” Manang ushered me with a wave of her hand to the fresh fish she has on her stall. I could see piles of groupers (lapu-lapu), milk fish(bangus), cichlids (tilapia), skipjack tuna (tambakol) and red snapper (maya-maya). I began to pick on a grouper when I spotted another pile with a hastily written cardboard beside it. “Gindara” was written in black ink.

Ay suki, that’s good and tasty fish. The kind they serve in high class restaurants,” she announced.

Since I have been buying from her for the past few years, I took her word for it and bought a kilo of the gindara. I figured, since I have been craving for the past few days for fired fish, I might as well try this one and see how it would turn out. I also passed by another stall and bought some veggies for an impromptu salad.

I could already imagine in my mind the scrumptious feast of fried gindara sprinkled with some soy sauce and sour lemon with a little dash of hot chili I will have for lunch.

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“I woke up last night feeling “soggy”. I lifted my bed sheet and a big oily stain was beneath me. I thought I was bleeding. When I touched it… it stank of a fishy smell! Ugh!” I told Karen.

“They call it xenical fish. Makes people pooh oil after eating it,” she said.

“How was I supposed to know that? I cooked half a kilo of it for lunch yesterday and some more of it for dinner. Now I am leaking like busted oil pipe!” I moaned.

“Hahaha…,” she laughed.

“Thanks for laughing. Now I feel like a 200-pound baby in these diapers,” I sighed.

7 comments:

rudeboy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rudeboy said...

Hehehe that was a very candid, light-hearted post. How strange that just yesterday, I was with a bunch of people talking about how helpless we are when we get the runs.

Apropos of your post title, I'd like to share a line in that convo that had me howling:

"Cleanliness is next to godliness, but oiliness is next to poverty."

In your case, I would translate that into "You poor big baby." :P

palma tayona said...

... yeah. a 200-lb. bald baby with muscles. :-(

nutart said...

this is the first time I hear that someone can actually leak of oil after eating fish! hope you're over it soon!

The Green Man said...

Dear palma tayona,

Thank so much for visiting my site. Thanks for the kind words.

I was actually surprised when you outspokenly asked me back in the Manilart09 Art Fair if I am The Green Man. I was caught between denying it and admitting it. But by the sincere look on your face and by the more surprised look you had then, I was encouraged to admit my identity.

Now you have another face to remember when you think of HIV :-D

I actually came out to my bosses back in the gallery. But unfortunately, i left kasi I needed to go back to school and pursue an MA in counseling and finish my certificate in Filipino Sign Language.

I hope you stay tuned and follow my blog @ www.thegreenmandiary.blogspot.com and I hope you keep in touch.

Sincerely,
TGM

P.S.
You seemed very nice and kind when we first met and I specifically liked your happy disposition. Keep it up :-D

Linda Hensley said...

Ewww! But I gotta say, you also made me laugh.

palma tayona said...

ugh! i could still remember the fishy smell even if it's like a year ago.